Love, Fitness, & Dating

Dating Advice from Twana Hines

• DO make it simple.If you’ve never dated a black woman before and you’d like to ask someone out, simply say something like: “Hey, are you free on Friday? Maybe we could be grab coffee or drinks or something?” Yep, my sweeties, it’s that easy. If you still need help, watch VideoJug’s How to Ask a Woman Out on A Date.

• • DO be truthful. Should the topic come up, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying, “I’ve never been on a date with a black woman before because ___.” Chances are pretty good your date will respect your honesty. By the way, on a related note, don’t lie. No one likes to be led on. So, if you don’t really want to DATE a black woman but you’d just like to *** one, there are plenty of places and opportunities to do that. Place a Craigslist add. Look into raceplay communities

  • DO have an open mind. People are such unique and interesting creatures. We all come from different ethnicities, economic classes, educational backgrounds, religions (or not) and regions of the globe. And, of course, we’re all raised by totally different, crazy families. As a result, we each have very specific ideas about how the world works. When dating someone from a background other than your own, be prepared to brush up against ideas that may or may not run counter to your beliefs. In that case, resist the urge to think your way is automatically “right” and theirs is “different” (read: “wrong”). You might learn something new.

  • DO treat your date like a DATE. Duh, right? As a general rule of thumb, ask yourself: When someone goes on a date with you, who do they expect to show up? Tip: If you answered “you” instead of “your ethnicity” you’re right. I could be completely loony and totally off base with this, but I think most people want to be cherished / loved / cared for / desired / etc. for who THEY are. So, it’s kind of impossible for me to provide an exhaustive list of what works for every black woman because each of us is very different. YOUR date will have her own unique interests, likes, dislikes, values and expectations. Spend a little time getting to know her. Act like it’s a, you know, DATE.

  
  And here’s the flip-side to this as written by Twanna Hines on her blog.
  

  Dating Advice from Twana Hines

  

  How to Date a White Guy

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  Ah, we all know how I feel about dating advice / dating experts. That said, I’m gonna take a stab at this one because: (1) I think it will be fun and (2) I thought I’d share my wealth of knowledge since I’ve dated a lot of white dudes, Latinos, half the countries in Western Europe, a Moroccan guy, black Americans, and … whatever … the list is too long. Anyway. If you’re a brown-skinned woman who wants to date Dudes of Different Ethnicities (DDEs), here are a few TOTALLY “politically incorrect” tips.SOCIALIZE. If you want to meet new men period (whether black, white, Vietnamese or any other ethnicity), you gotta go to the right venues. Generally speaking, sports venues attract a higher percentage of dudes … just like, say, nail salons attract more women. I have one word for you: SOFTBALL. If your job, church and/or city has a community league, join it. In Baltimore, I know there’s the Baltimore Sports & Social Club. If you don’t like softball, try golf, tennis, rugby, water polo or lacrosse tournaments to meet all different kinds of guys. STAY AWAY FROM HOOPS!!! Because we all know who plays basketball!!!! Say you don’t like sports? No problem. Go to political networking stuff. Though there are exceptions, right-wing nutjobs aren’t necessarily known for loving brown-skinned women. Go left: Obama groups, Drinking Liberally, MoveON or book readings at independent bookstores. You’ll find scores of DDEs who are open to brown girls.

  MOVE. You mentioned you live in Baltimore.You might have better luck in Seattle, Portland or San Francisco. Those cities are STUFFED with fair-skinned liberal folks who love brown-skinned people and will gladly tell you: “Some of my best friends are black.”

  LOOK ONLINE. There’s been a boom in interracial online dating sites. I mentioned this in an article I wrote for Mashable a while ago. Click here and see #3 for details.

  LIGHTER OR WHITER, BUT NOT WASPY. Try to find your oppressed allies: The Scots. Puerto Ricans. Jews. Irish people. Italians. Generally speaking,  they’ll understand prejudice, racism and discrimination better. This will greatly cut down on your “I Don’t Have Time To Tell A ___ Dude Everything He Needs to Know About Black Women” lesson planning.

  There ya go, my dear! Kisses and good luck.